I dont own a flat like Techie guys – So What ?

POSTED BY manish ON March 2, 2017 COMMENTS (97)

This is a guest post which is already published on Ravi Karandeekar’s blog, which is an excellent blog when it comes to real estate (more related to Pune). Ravi’s discusses various projects and his experience meeting with Builders and various stories of real estate frauds etc.

not owning a house

Few days back, I read a real life story of a female IT engineer in Pune and she shared various aspects of her life in detail, which I thought should be read by more and more people and I took permission from Mr. Ravi, if I can republish his article on this blog, which he agreed to and I am thankful to him.

Here is a great write up below.

Hi Ravi,

I regularly follow your blog and I like your sarcastic style of writing. I have read several of your articles where you have highlighted the importance of living a quality life versus living a life under pressure to own a house as soon as possible at any cost in huge debt.

I think in life we have to make certain choices where we cannot achieve what others can because our circumstances are different. Mine is another such case.

I am an IT engineer and a daughter and a wife.

I am the only child of my parents so their entire responsibility is on me.

My parents are simple middle class people who worked hard, saved every penny so that they can give me a comfortable life and a good education.

They sacrificed nearly every personal need of theirs so that I can go to a convent school, become an engineer and have a happy childhood with all worldly comforts. Beautiful clothes, birthday gifts, toys, ice creams, picnics. Everything was for me and only me.

We lived in the heart of the city

Until I graduated we lived in the heart of Pune city in our very old ancestral rented home. They did not even buy a new flat within the city limits although they could have afforded it.

If they had bought that flat they would have had to cut out almost all the comforts from my life and a quality education.

So they bought a cheap apartment on the outskirts in a pathetic locality (just as a backup) while we continued to live in our ancestral home.

That 1.5 lakh difference mattered to them. And they made a choice – Me

When I graduated eight years back we had to move out of our ancestral home.

Our backup apartment is on 3rd floor with no lift and my mother has health issues because of which she cannot climb those 3 set of stairs.

So eight years back, at the age of 22, I had to think about our future accommodation.

My starting salary at that time was 24K and rent was 7.5k. My father retired around the same time with a government pension. There was not enough money to buy a new flat within the city.

I had 2 Options

So there were two options.

Option 1: Save those 7.5k of rent for my future life and let my parents stay on the 3rd floor in a sad locality.

If I save the rent money I may even be able to buy a home inside the city in 7-8 years.

Or in that money I can have a lavish wedding.

Whatever!

My mother’s diabetes had impaired her health and climbing stairs would have been extremely difficult. She compromised saying “I won’t get out of the house much so I don’t have to climb the stairs”. From age 55 she would have been trapped in a house for months like a caged animal.

My father too was old. Neighbours were not nice. Water supply problems were there. Medical facilities, our relatives and all the other things that we were used to would have been unreachable for us.

Parents were ready (as always) to live that life as of course they don’t want their daughter to spend 7.5k every month. Our scrupulous traditional middle class parents will never touch their daughter’s money!

Option 2: Spend the rent money, I will have fewer savings and let my parents live a decent life.

All their life they sacrificed and adjusted. Don’t they deserve a good life at least during their last years?

Importance of TIME in life! YOLO!! (You only live once)

My parents are not going to have these last (healthy) years again!! Soon they will cross mid sixties after which they will be too old to even get out of the house.

This is the time window (55 to 65 years) when I can give them the lifestyle they deserve as the proud parents of a highly qualified daughter. So I take the decision and rent out an apartment (against my parents wishes).

Our backup apartment stays locked.

Eight years have passed and option 2 has worked out really really well!

How?

We live in a beautiful spot in Kothrud surrounded by greenery and beautiful bungalows.

My mother goes for walks every day since we live on the ground floor. She enjoys going to the market and being able to live a normal life.

My father is thrilled as there is a katta nearby where all the retired members like him meet in the evening.

All our relatives live nearby. We live in a 30 year old 1 BHK and the floor tiles belong to the 70s era. But the people here are so friendly we live like one big family.

I can get a flat on rent in a high rise in a cosmopolitan atmosphere in Baner or Wakad (where I would be very happy btw ).

But here we are surrounded by Marathi families like ours. There is an excellent hospital nearby. The convenience, homeliness and the safety of the neighbourhood are important to me. The society does not have amenities like swimming pool, club house but my home is filled with happiness.

My Priorities

Years passed, I got promotions and salary increased. I was easily getting home loan. 1 BHK was a piece of cake and 2 BHK was also possible.

But turns out not buying a flat was very wise. There were many things that had to be handled first. We planned our monthly budget well, saved most of my salary, spent smartly and also had a little bit of fun.

Four years back my mother had a heart attack. Several hospitalizations and a bypass surgery set me back by around 8 lakhs.

But that was easily managed. I was never tense about money and my parents were relieved that we don’t have to borrow from anyone.

I had managed my finances so well that I gifted my mother a pair of gold earrings 2 months after the surgery for a speedy recovery!

I am happy too!. I was able to save for my own wedding. Since our wedding expenses were well within our reach we were able to enjoy it completely.

I have also been able to fulfill some of my dreams. I am passionate about travelling and I have been to my dream destinations Himachal Pradesh, Kerala, Dubai and New York.

In these eight years I have lived a fulfilling life. Dining out in fine restaurants, going for shopping in malls are some of the things we never thought we would do.

Parents/Family suffering because of loan

My folks are happy that I am able to have fun and don’t have to scrimp and save like a person in debt. I do not frown like a debt ridden son when some unexpected expense turns up. I have seen the scenes from movies\tv serials where the son reproaches his parents when any expense comes up as he has a big loan and says “Baba atta kasa shakya ahe! Tumhala kalat nahi ka loan ahe” (English meaning is – “Dad, How is it possible right now, dont you know there is  a loan”). Way to go son!

This is what you give your parents in return for their entire life spent on you!!. Unbelievably, I have seen this scene in real life also in many homes!!!. These guys have a 2 BHK and a Sedan worth 10 lakhs but they will frown upon if their parents\wife have to have something basic.

There was a time when my parents made a choice between me and their dream home. When I grew up I made a similar choice. It’s okay if I don’t have my own flat at the age of 26 like IT engineers do.

I will have it when I am 35 or 40 years old. But these 10 years of my life were important to me.

Spending on top notch medical treatment, living comfortably, travelling around the world, saving for my wedding, supporting my husband were my top priority.

All the while I am saving money aside for my dream house too. I am halfway there, slowly and steadily I will get there. You must work out a plan that suits your circumstances and live happily because you only live once.

Regards,

2 Tough Question for all readers

  • Do girls take the decision of buying house in a more sensible way compared to guys?
  • Do males face more life issues when it comes to “home ownership”?

Disclaimer : This is a personal story and views by 1 person depending on her life, her experience and her circumstances. Lets not judge male/females by this one article alone.

Please share your perspective about this article and what do you feel about the issue? How is a male life different then a female when it comes to buying a flat considering how our society has shaped up till date.

Would like to hear your views and stories in comments section.

 

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97 replies on this article “I dont own a flat like Techie guys – So What ?”

  1. Priyank says:

    I also want to share my story, it may help decide to live on rent or buy a flat.
    One generation up, our parents, they never had this craving of owning a house in their late 20s or early 30s. They saved enough and when they thought they could afford, they purchased the one.
    I work in IT and come from a small town. I started working in Metros. 2008-2013 was a time when a need for having your own flat was generated buy the realty estate builders/agents. As if,
    if you don’t buy now, you won’t be able to buy ever.
    I also fell in the trap and booked an under construction flat and almost all my peers did the same.
    Some of us have got the possession but few are able to reside. The reason being, affordable homes were in the outskirts and workplace is very far. Some of them changed the job and relocated to other
    city. So the point of owning a home and living in that could not be realised for many. And got the burden of debt over the head in an early age that too in a time when IT industry is going
    through tremendous pressure. Most of us have become wage slave, just want hike so that the burden of debt could be offloaded. People have 50, 60 Lac of home loan, 50K plus EMI and staying far
    from the workplace.
    In the end, I learned that, if you cannot afford buying 1Cr home then don’t buy. Stay on rent, you can change your job without much strings attached.

    1. Thats a wonderful sharing ! .. I agree with you . It does not make a point to buy a house with so much debt only to realise that you will not be able to use it and have to move to other cities

      Manish

  2. Radha Ramana says:

    I studied in a coed school and college. I noticed that girls mature faster in a way. That said, in intellect and applying logic they are no way less and it is more individual. All things being equal, a woman looks at things a little differently than a man. Probably, it is the sports culture and boyish games where winning and being the victor takes precedence.
    Well, buying a flat is a personal choice. But if one is getting shackled by that into wage slavery – may be that too is a choice (even if unknown and unthought – thoughtless seems a cruel word).
    Most get into EMI and flat and at the end of the term, the principal and interest makes the property double the purchase price. So what is the return?
    I would rather live in outskirts in a rented place and invest a smaller amount than in an expensive flat and wait for returns on my investment. Or live in central place and cut on travel and save on time and spend more on that.
    At the end, it is an individual thing – why someone want to live only in Mumbai, some want to live only in Delhi and some want to leave them and go to some place with no electricity and roads and get into farming after living in all kinds of cities.
    Madness or the lack of it has nothing to do with the sex of the person – similarly rationale. One person’s rational decision seems madness to the other. We called a local barber to shave our infant son’s head after birth and paid him a good amount and gave a lunch. Our maid flew home with us for the occasion. My colleague took his son and the wider family to a temple town for the shave. My taking the maid by flight looked expensive to him and his bash looked even more expensive to me – for a haircut !!!
    There it is.

    1. Thanks for sharing how you feel about this issue 🙂

  3. Shyam Singh says:

    “But the people here are so friendly we live like one big family.” – I think this is the main thing 🙂
    whether you rent or buy an apartment, you can verify the materialistic things but having friendly and cooperative neighbors depends on your luck.

    1. Thanks for your comment Shyam Singh

  4. gaurav says:

    manish congrats u shared a really good n emotional post.
    one could be calm & steady, happy with his/her life but usually succumbed to peer pressure & unforeseen fears.
    i am quite fortunate to live with parents(in a metro), married & a lovely kid, though not at par (economically) with my batch mates ( peer pressure).
    one residing on rent can see shifting his rent to loan emi’s in two ways:-
    1) pay an emi for a home – feel safe & optimise its emi being adjusted to rent(to some extent)
    2) try for same but comfortable EMI(rent+overhead EMI) as an investment strategy

    both being a liability of say 15 years. but both have own pros & cons, moreover 2nd option probably finally gives u a money equal to a flat/house to be purchased at later years. in 1st option ppl might be able to create a additional backup unit.

    your comments pls.

    1. YEs I agree with you. There are both pros and cons of each option . May be the 1st option is more practical because we dont live our lives on an excel sheet 🙂 . We have spouse, kids, parents and they have their own reasons and emotions attached to a HOUSE we own. Just because option 2 makes sense financially , people cant just opt for it …

      That does not mean that option 2 is bad or is not a good option! . Its just that option 2 will not work out for many people taking various things in consideration !

  5. shantanu says:

    Hi all, I think if this was in boys case they would have definately purchased the flat. Today’s girls are more demanding as they want boys to have their own property and want to live separately from their in-laws. So basically boys have to think from many perspectives and not just about his parents or himself.

    1. Yes, thats correct !

  6. Aby says:

    hi Mr. Manish. Thank you for all the articles. I have 2000 rupees to save every month. Could you please suggest the best way to invest 2000 rupees every month for a period of 15 or 16 months so that I’ll get maximum return after that period?

    1. You need to start SIP in mutual funds. Thats a good option for you ..

      In case you are new to this, my team can help you with setting up everything from start to end. Just fill up https://www.jagoinvestor.com/mutual-funds#sign-up

  7. SUBODH KHARE says:

    Dear Manish
    This story appears to be a justification for not buying a house.Her father had a house not in good locality. Why was that not sold to get seed capital on which lesser loan would have got them a place of their own. On top of that father was a govt servant who would have got decent retirement benefits. in addition they were not covered with health insurance which is a big blunder. Also govt covers you for medical expenditure whether central or state.
    Thus it appears to be a story more of justification for not buying a flat rather than prudence.
    I own a 2 bedroom flat in mulund mumbai. Since I wanted to give a separate bedroom to mild both children each I rented a 3 bedroom flat within the same locality and gave out my flat on rent. The difference of Rs 10,000/- is worth for next 5 yrs by which time my daughter will be 26 and son 24 or my flat which is going on re development will be ready. So by spending 6 lakhs I get comfort of 3 BHK house. BUT despite having done agreement for 3 yrs after 1 yr the land lord asked me to vacate the flat as he lost his job in Dubai. Then I had to hunt for another 3 bedroom flat in nearby locality( which I found and settled now. ) Saving grace– bad comes worst I can always go back to my own 2 BHK house.
    Remember the sword of damocles will always hang on your head in a rented accommodation and you cant decorate the house to your “taste”. So on one aspect it may be a financially better decision to rent a house BUT Staying in rented house lifelong with decoration ot to your taste Is it a wise decision is your personal call.
    IMHO a rented house should always be a stop gap arrangement.

    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts . We all can come up with our views on this story and thanks that you gave yours. My only intention to share this story was to share how one person handled her case and if few people can get any learnings out of it .

      I agree with you that there might be few blunders from parents side, like no health insurance, no proper financial planning for themselves etc.

  8. Rama Sudheer says:

    I can see this like this,
    Its not that those who bought flats with loan will end up in a situation like she mentioned its the poor financial planning they made. Who asked them to go for 2BHK in a costly area and a sedan with 10L when they can’t manage the financial turbulence even for a month or few months..
    There are lot of things which everyone needs to fulfill before going for home ownership or buying luxury cars (in my thought process) like…
    1. Creating backup funds (at least 3 months and 6 months is advisable)
    2. Having enough insurance health and life ( in this case she lost 8 lacs for surgery may be a 20-25K insurance premium would have taken that responsibility)
    3. Invest in your needs first before investing in luxury…

    Buying a flat or staying in a rented accommodation is always a debatable topic and it will decided by ur priorities and the growth rate of your flat. Your financial planning and priorities are the best judges to decide…

    1. THanks for those points .. makes sense !

  9. Thejasvi says:

    Good to read another girl’s life story, esp one who has been a sound financial planner, able to balance both her familial responsibilities and financial ones. Hey story and philosophy is an inspiration to many of us, who succumb to peer pressure to tick the box at the “appropriate” time as defined by societal norms. It’s not a one size fits all.
    I’ve been in a similar situation myself. My parents splurged on sending us to a school they couldn’t afford, bought us expensive clothes and everything we asked for, buying a small house in a developed neighbourhood instead of buying a site in the outskirts. I bought a house at 26, as my parents would have to climb two storeys in the flat they own. I settled for a neighbourhood closer to where we were brought up, inside of the fast growing and new localities in Bangalore. There was definition a compromise on the appreciation. But totally worth it as my parents would have been uprooted and become dependent on a car and driver of we moved to the new localities.
    We are on a well developed and old part of town being close to neighbours.
    Buying the house was a stretch as I’d to dip into all my savings. I but it’s been the best decision, as I will be able to retire the loan within 7 years of buying the house. What looked like a huge amount is manageable right now, because our income also grows.
    In these years I’ve gotten married, with mostly my money and mom’s help, bought jewellery, traveled abroad, sponsored my husband’s study abroad, splurged on gifts, spent money on education for myself and saved to pay back the loan to a large extent.
    The lesson for me is to put family first. We’ve a life ahead to create money. There is no dearth of money in this world and given our education we can create what we choose. Immense gratitude to our parents as we are where we are thanks to their sacrifices, choices and generosity!

    1. Thanks for sharing your story !

  10. THENNARASU says:

    Good decision blend of logic and emotions

    1. Thanks for your comment THENNARASU

  11. Nikhil Gaikwad says:

    Your point is valid Manishji emotions are priceless and everyone should respect them. Though many people are involved while purchasing your first home you should clearly understand the benefits of both rented home and owing a home. In my personal opinion the rented home benefits are more if you study and understand in deep.

    Three main benefits:-
    1) Flexibility of changing your location as per your convenience as per family needs.
    2) No EMI burden
    3) The more money you save can be invested , remember the early you invest the more you get.

    Also I have seen many guys who are owing there first home but not living in it as it is inconvenient for them in daily life.

    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Nikhil

      I am sure the benefits are more visible depending on which side of marriage are you standing on ? I am not sure if you are a bachelor or Married with kids.

      Manish

  12. Generally it is said that women are better investors and seen a real example now in this article. Her choice makes sense for everybody who pass through this phase.

    1. Thanks for your comment Your Money Matters

  13. Amit mishra says:

    I personally feel, that this is all hypocrisy, though the girl has taken a good decision, pls let me know if even one percent of parents would like to marry there daughter with someone with same mindset, leave parents how many girls would marry before asking about financial well being of spouse, pls remember this so called nuclear family culture started with our father and fore father’s leaving in search of job and financial well being. Easier to preach and difficult to practice.so no doubt in my mind that financial approach for ladies and males is totally different in our society.

    1. Hi Amit

      thanks for sharing your thoughts.

      Marrying someone with this mindset I think is totally a different thing altogether. I would be interested to extend this conversation to discuss why its seems wrong to choose a guy who has a flat over someone who does not have it? Its after all the world where the “survival of the fittest” applies. I am sure men also choose women who are more beautiful than someone who is not (others things being equal).

      In the same way if a girl is choosing among prospective partners, its very natural to choose someone with more wealth and health . After all its a cruel and unfare world.

      Please share your thoughts.

      1. Nimesh Shah says:

        Hahaha…..comparing these two things;boys choosing beautiful woman and woman choosing boys with wealth, luxary etc simply does not make sense. Are you saying that only beautiful woman have the right to demand that a prospective groom should own a house?? Even those women who are not so beautiful do expect boys to have their home nd luxary.

        Boys whether handsome, hot or just ordinary looking have to own a house. Thats it. And women whether beautiful or not will always demand that boy should have his own house atleast. Yes its an unfair world…..

      2. Nimesh Shah says:

        Comparing these two things;boys wanting to marry only beautiful girls and girls wanting to marry boys with own house and luxary etc etc does not make sense at all. Are u trying to say that only beautiful girls have the demand of own house. Even girls who are not looking beautiful do demand that the prospective grooms should have his own house.

        Now as far as boys are concerned whether they are hot, handsome or not so handsome they have to have their own house. Its as simple as that. You will find so many cases where intelligent, educated girls have chosen grooms who are not so smart and good looking but have his own house, is the only child of his parents so no brother in law, sister in law. Yes it is an UNFAIR WORLD.

        1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Nimesh

      3. Anjan says:

        Manish, so you are basically supporting the double standard. On one hand the girl is being praised and called smart for not investing in a flat but on the other hand guys are getting the shaft for taking the same decision. What kind of hypocrisy is this? By your very logic, it shouldn’t be wrong for guys to ask for dowry either. It’s a cruel and unfair world and the rich guys deserve to call all the shots and set the terms of marriage.

        1. I think we are talking the same thing . I am saying that both men and women are right in choosing the partner based on looks and wealth. I never said one is right and other is wrong.

          “It’s a cruel and unfair world and the rich guys deserve to call all the shots and set the terms of marriage.” – I am saying exactly that in the comment. Also I am not supporting the girl nor men. The article is up for sharing with all a story and we are discussing perspective from everyone.

          Manish

  14. Sumit says:

    Hi Manish!

    Thanks for sharing such a wonderful post! I am totally in agreement with what the girl did in her early years of career.

    I also agree with the fact that women/girl are more sensible in buying homes. And, I am telling this from my own experience. My wife did an excellent financial calculations for buying our dream home. She planned a 3 year life style with a mix of austerity as well as bit of leisure . Though, I was reluctant to buy house that time and was pushing my wife to enjoy life, travel abroad, etc but she was firm! Finally, we bought a row house (lavish one but little bit outside city limits). our parents live with us and they are happy too,to have a garden, backyard to manage and spend time. We spent at least two years with compromise. Later, salaries increased, loan transfers and few more tips helped us overcome the burden. We started enjoying the life again, started traveling abroad for vacations and had a family now.

    I guess, if I would have been the one to take the decision, this dream home would not have been possible to own!

    Thanks
    Sumit

    1. Thanks for sharing your personal story here .

      I am sure you got a good financial planner with you 🙂

      Manish

    2. Sangita says:

      @Sumit, I woud like to know what tips helped you to help you reduce burden, if it can be applicable to general public

  15. sb says:

    Since the author asked for another perspective..here is mine.
    My father was in a govt job, lived in govt. provided apartment. In a span of 40 years, we had to change our flat only once..from a 1bhk to 2 bhk. When he retired, I was already working. Yes, in IT. We didn’t own any house, land or had claim in family property. I and my sister studied in a separate city, away from home. So he had to finance most of the eduction through his savings and PF. As he retired, I wanted us to stay together. Bought a flat in a location where many from his organization has bought. It was at a manageable rate. However,the flat construction was delayed by 4 years. We moved to Pune as I found a better job and for other family reasons. My parents joined me and we rented an apartment. This is the first time they were living on rent. We had rent agreement for 3 years. We finally decided to settle down in Pune, again for personal reasons. Sold out the earlier booked flat. Father has a nice group of new friends.As 3yrs was about to be over, we started getting call from landlord. He was too about to retire and wanted to shift to his pune home from mumbai. And then I saw the panic in my in my parents. They were scared, insecure, Sleepless. For them it is a big change. So now my priority is to give them a permanent address,needless to say..closer to hospital. So, I have decided to buy a house,on loan.

    1. Thanks for sharing your story.

      Its great to read things like these which shows the real life issues and they way humans take decision related to money matters !

  16. shahid says:

    Excellent story Mr. Manish, i really learned a lot.

    1. Glad to know that shahid ..

  17. Pramod says:

    Good insightful article which shows the choices one has and how pragmatic decisions can be taken without being blinded by sentimentality of having own house. It will be also good to know the savings approach( MFs ,direct equity or regular FDs) which was taken by the author which enabled her to provide for her parents emergencies.

    1. Thanks for your comment Pramod

  18. Nikhil Gaikwad says:

    Nice article an eye opener for those who buy new flats taking heavy loans. In my view you should buy new home when you are in totally good financial condition and that too for living in it, not as investment. What works well off course this is my personal view that you should save the proposed emi and invest in mutal funds shares after years of investment when you are in position to buy, purchase new home. This reliefs from the emi stress and you have option to change locality as per your wish, working location.

    Just go through this nice whatsapp message and take a wise decision…

    Time Will Come !

    New York is 3 hrs ahead of California but it does not mean that California is slow, or that New York is fast. Both are working based on their own “Time Zone.”

    Some one is still single. Someone got married and ‘waited’ 10 yrs before having a child, there is another who had a baby within a year of marriage.

    Someone graduated at the age of 22, yet waited 5 years before securing a good job; and there is another who graduated at 27 and secured employment immediately !

    Someone became CEO at 25 and died at 50 while another became a CEO at 50 and lived to 90 years.

    Everyone works based on their ‘Time Zone’,

    People can have things worked out only according to their pace.
    Work in your “time zone”.

    Your Colleagues, friends, younger ones might “seem” to go ahead of you.
    May be some might “seem” behind you.

    Don’t envy them or mock them, it’s their ‘Time Zone.’ You are in yours!

    Manishji nice article..

    1. Thanks for sharing that Nikhil

      I would like to just add one point . People do not buy house always with mathematics in mind, They are not always calculating the best time and right EMI. There are times when they have to take into consideration various other real life emotional issues like parents health, how their parents feel about owning home, pressure from spouse and looking at the inconvenience of their kids.. All these contribute to the point of buying a house.

      Manish

  19. sravan says:

    Truly appreciate the girl efforts in taking care of her parents,
    but I do not see any extra ordinary decision taken by the girl, she thought like every other girl who is the only child for their parents.

    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this

  20. PGeorge says:

    Girls can be more sensible when it comes to life’s questions on security. I have seen that. Owning a house is a feeling of security. As one person points out, one of the first thing a girl’s parents see is – if the prospective boy owns a house – this makes the ‘pressure’ to own a house more on boys! However, today the question of security is not just limited to own a house but lot to do with compatibility, values and attitude. Hence, for guys today, its more important to look for well-matched partners than to impress with I-own-a-house feeling which is usually imbibed by his parents.
    The girl in this blog seem to have made wise decisions along – result of the education and parental values I guess.

    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this point !

  21. Nimesh Shah says:

    Will this girl marry a guy who is living on rent? When it’s time to marry girls and her parents seek all the comforts ND riches ND statuses ND bla bla….All this out of box thinking just fizzeles out….

    1. How is it related to this story?

      If a guy have to chose two women, I am sure guys also choose them based on various points they score on various parameters. I am sure why a women will choose a men who does not own a house compared to one who owns. Its survival of the fittest !

    2. Anjan says:

      Exactly! This is the hypocrisy and double standard that this article fails to point out while heaping praise on the girl for taking a so called “sensible” decision. The girl in this story didn’t do anything spectacular. Let’s be honest. Guys are not stupid. We also know it often doesn’t make financial sense to buy a home but we are still forced to buy a home because that’s what the girls want before deciding to tie the knot.

  22. NISHANT AWADHESH KUMAR says:

    GIRLS AND BOYS ARE PHYSICAL GENDER.
    OUR MIND HAS NO GENDER.
    EVERY PERSON ON THIS EARTH SENSES PERCEIVE THINGS THROUGH MIND.
    OUR MIND ONLY UNDERSTAND TWO THINGS-PLEASURE AND PAIN,SO IT IS NOT ABOUT GIRLS AND BOYS,IT IS PRIMARILY ABOUT THE PERSON AND HIS/HER SENSING POWER.

    1. Thanks for your comment NISHANT AWADHESH KUMAR

      1. NISHANT AWADHESH KUMAR says:

        THANK YOU INDEED.

  23. Sanket says:

    Thanks Manish and Ravi for another beautiful post. I think most people will agree that it makes no financial (or mathematical) sense to buy a home when rents are quite reasonable (comparatively) across cities. Even then, I think we all fall prey to societal pressure, especially young males (hate to say that I’m one of them). Also, we have banks, SBI no less, promoting the ‘flexible’ loans, which will prompt more younger people to fall prey to the so called dream of buying a home. And in an economic slowdown, things are probably going to get very worse..

    1. Thanks for sharing your point Sanket

      Its a different debate if it makes sense to buy a house at all or not . But yes, one should take that decision keeping in mind various other points in life like location, how it impact lives of others related to us, stress and things like these 🙂

      Manish

  24. Prasanth says:

    First thanks to you and Ravi sir for live example.

    I always say the same to my wife.

    Don’t get into big debts which will spoil our life, happiness.

    Luxury will give nothing but pain.

    Don’t live for society live for yourself plan and implement.

    In this story both the daughter and parents are in good co-operation let God give good long life to cute family.

    I got tears when I read this article.

    Thanks again.
    Prasanth

    1. Thats Great Prashanth

      I think you have summerized some very important life points into your small comment 🙂

      Manish

  25. Ram Kumar Rama Krishnan says:

    A beautiful article indeed.
    Choices! Yes. They make all the difference in living a fulfilling life.
    I wish to pen down a few points from my life. Like the central character in the story, I too have parents who sacrificed their life’s wishes for me and my brother. Now both of us are settled, me in Hyderabad and my brother in Chennai. Our parents were visionary and encouraged nuclear families for us right from our childhood. I would say they’ve invested on us, for our education, a bright career and future, and suppressed their wish to live in a own home.
    So I made a choice to live on rent in Hyderabad while buying them a 1 BHK Flat for them in Chennai, in an upcoming residential locality with all the basic amenities. God’s grace, I’ve cleared the loan as well in 3.5 years, as I maintain a simple life style and invest avidly in Equities. They are happy. I am happy. My brother lives at a reachable distance to them in Chennai.
    I am Ram, aged 35 working in IT Industry since 2013. Prior to that for 9.5 years I worked in Contact Center Operations where my salary grew from Rs 6500 / month to Rs 48000 / month across 9.5 years. I started to save and not to touch atleast 10% of my income right from my first pay cheque. That was my ‘choice’ and that made all the difference.

    1. Indeed a beautiful story you have 🙂 ..

      I think you have sensibly taken the decisions and reached this great feat ! .. Best of luck !

  26. Pradeep says:

    I never had any thoughts about buying a home when I was earning 50k also. But when your salary goes up and you see so much tax outgo, then comes the time to think about a home and a loan. It serves dual purpose of saving on rent and taxes. And a home is in your name. Until then happy enjoyable life.

    1. Thanks for sharing your comment on this point Pradeep

    2. Amit Gupta says:

      Pradeep,
      There is no tax saving by buying home thru loan. Instead of paying 20 to 30% tax, you are paying 100% to banks in the form of interest.
      However, buying home or not is more an emotional decision than financial one. There are numerous calculators to find out whether it makes sense to buy a home or rent one. Most people ignore maths while taking such decision.

  27. Rahul G says:

    Whether you own a home or not, you must have a medical insurance of entire family. Also a term policy for sure if you are the only one supporting them financially. Thanks!

    1. Yes, very valid point Rahul !

  28. Sampat Kumar says:

    IT professionals are the richest professionals in terms of salary, they can spend ten times than the rest of bread earners (c grade govt employee, pvt. co. worker etc.) in any condition!!!! They can live / enjoy their life prematurely (before time) coz of this earnings. Me and my wife earn around 40k per month together (both elementary teachers) save 8k to 10k’s monthly (MF+Equity) and end up using the rest (25k to 30k) in dinning medical and miscellaneous expenses. Sometimes attending marriages or other functions of close relatives becomes a big concern as we have gift gold or costly items. I am residing in my parental old house with my two other brothers and their family. Sooner or later we have to buy land or house for comfortable and healthy living (atmosphere). With a corpus of 4 Lacs only in hand I am looking for land/house , one can understand that It is almost impossible to get a land or house with this amount. But the price of land growing faster than my MF or Equity investment, I don’t understand what to do. I am aware of financial literacy but struggle when finance matters. This the life of a common man.

    1. Hi Sampat

      Thanks for sharing your case. I must say that just like you there are various software engineers also . IT industry has some top earners, but I think we cant generalize for all IT guys here. A big number of people (might be earning more than you) , but still they are also hand to mouth each month.

      I think you should work on your income if its possible, otherwise there is no way out of this situation.

      Land prices must be surely increasing compared to MF / Equity, but its totally a different ball game and it has its own problems and great points.

      Manish

      1. Sanket says:

        btw, over the past few months, land prices have nit kept pace with MF/Equity, especially if you had a diversified portfolio.

        1. Depends on the location 🙂

      2. Amit Gupta says:

        Grass is always greener on the other side. I have witnessed many of my friends getting fired due to cost cutting in spite of being top performer. Also, more than 80% in IT live on paycheck to paycheck. There will be few who can survive more than 6 months without a job.
        Important this is to work hard to increase your income and invest as much as you can to secure your future.
        I can easily buy a home worth 60 lakh thru home loan but I won’t. My parents lived in govt quarters till their retirement and lived their whole life debt free. I would also like to do the same. If it makes sense to buy home instead of living on rent then go for it but not by compromising with your future.

        1. Thanks for sharing your story Amit !

  29. Lakshmipathy says:

    I liked the article. Thanks for sharing it across.

  30. Madhav says:

    I.m doing some serious introspection. We too lived happily in a rented apartment in a friendly area. But the typical mindset of owning a house pushed me to go for it, but had to compromise on the locality. Today my kids are missing their friendly neighbours, playing area. At 43, I have to again take a call if i have to move to a rented flat in a posh area or stay put at the comfort of my own house.

    1. Thanks for sharing that Mr. Madhav

      Its a great learning that there are people who are also facing issues even after buying their dream house. A lot can be learned from these cases

      Manish

  31. Prashant says:

    In same Pune, when Girl’s parents start looking for suitable Boy for marriage, first question they ask is where boy is working and whether he owns a house/flat, etc. In such case, Boys do not have any other option to go for loan and book a flat.
    In our society, still we consider that its male’s responsibility to plan for their family (including parents. So yes, males face more pressure when it comes to home buying.
    Regarding home buying decision, at least for married couples, its joint decision, hence I don’t think we can differentiate who is better or at upper hand

    1. Yes Prashant .. I think we have that social pressure.

      I am still wondering if what women parents do is RIGHT or WRONG ? Thats debatable !

      Manish

    2. Kshitij_Peter says:

      Very good point @Prashant.

      This article is very good if you consider only the girl’s/women’s perspective.

      1. Now with the so called liberalization and women empowerment in the last 2+ decades, a women who gets special treatment(free education, special concessions and reservation everywhere) is still not accountable whether she made any savings.

      2.Just replace the girl with a guy — We have a guy who gave his parents good life, followed his dreams and travelled but has no savings…..with the girl in the above story marry such a guy???

      The guy will most probably be rejected in the first round!!!

      3. Now, after marriage the girl as per law is entitled to get all her financial(atleast) needs to be satisfied by the guy.

      @Manish ji: Maybe you can do an article about precaution that a guy can take just in case he gets such in-laws

      I can understand misandric comments/thoughts coming in…but even I was unaware of such gender biased approach till it hit me.

      1. Kshitij_Peter says:

        Just to add, yes there was a wrong done in earlier times to women…but do 2 wrongs do NOT make a right.

      2. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this point !

  32. Virendra says:

    Just replace the lady in the story with a guy and do an re-analysis. A lady can delay or defer the house buying plans for next 10 years or untill her marriage but the same is not true for a working guy.
    In India the primary responsibility of having a own home lies with the male member, In best case both husband and wife will contribute.

    1. Yes True Virendra .. The article intention was not to conclude anything. It was just a real life sharing ! ..

  33. Viral Kamdar says:

    This is a very nice article. It shows the person’s sesible and caring appraoch, daring to thing out of the box, and considering parents’ happiness above all. I hertily admire her decision making! Spening happy moments with parents in itself is a very big cherishment of life.

    Postponing buying a home and living a happier life with parents is priceless! It is the liveliness of family which makes the house a home (house, makes no difference whether owned or rented). Even after 10 years, when you look back to your life, you will rejoice that you made such a decision which was great in itself.

    1. Yea thats correct Viral

      I think “buying house” looks a very important and urgent decision, but when you look back on it many years back, it does not seem that big thing

      Manish

  34. Shravan says:

    Hi Manish,

    Thanks for sharing the different perspective of life..I totally agree with the great daughter and had great insight on life Planning!

    Really inspiring thoughts!

    Regards,
    Shravan

    1. Welcome Shravan

      Manish

  35. Ganesh says:

    I am happy to read that this young lady fulfilled her wishes. But she was luckey to be born as girl child. After her age of 30 , her husband will take the burden of house loan and probably of her parents too. instead of being girl if she was a boy could she have enjoyed the freedom. I am 70 years old and lived my life very happily , with ontented family life. But feel sorry for the young men who slough day and night to meet their married life commitments. Girls , married or unmarried , have comfortable life. I am for Men’s Lib.

    1. Thanks for sharing your experience on this issue Mr. Ganesh

  36. IsItPossible says:

    1) Are girls better home buyers than boys?
    Feels very biased question, but then we live in biased society. On surface, the answer might be yes considering female are more rationale and passionate about home compared to males. But it can be very well argued as everyone comes from a different professional/personal/cultural background which affects such major decisions along with current/past life circumstances/experiences.

    The real question should be, which set of people are better home buyers?
    – People who come from financially stable family or ups n downs
    – People who are well educated as in Masters/Phd/etc or bachelors and high schoolers
    – People who have their own business/employment vs working class
    – People who are very practical vs reasonable vs dreamers

    I don’t believe there is a right answer, in the end what matters is not only you want to live in the house/apartment but also want to be happy with your family and content with life.

    2) Do males face more life issues when it comes to “home ownership”?
    Again feels very biased question. On surface, the answer might be yes as “ego” comes into play and most females have tendency to resolve issues by not confronting.

    1. Thanks for sharing yours perspective on this issues

    2. Anjan says:

      In the 21st century men have been reduced to mere slaves and nothing more.

      Men have to buy a house without which no girl will marry him. The EMI for home loan will span atleast 20 years and to pay that men are forced to stick with horrible jobs with abusive bosses for decades with no light at the end of the tunnel. It’s like signing away your life to the bank and living everyday like a rat with no escape route. Women will of course never understand what living like that means.

      Men have to compulsorily buy a car or else no girl will marry him because availing public transport is beneath her dignity. Once again, take car loan and keep paying EMIs while the car depreciates to less than half its value within 6 months.

      Men have to buy Life Insurance worth a crore and Heath Insurance for the entire family. Men need to save money for the kid’s education and marriage in future. Has anyone noticed how insanely expensive education has gotten right from pre-primary school all the way upto college? Men need to take care of both his parents and as well as the girl’s parents. Men need to shell out money for the wife’s shopping spree. Men need to buy ridiculously expensive but useless gold jewelry and diamond jewelry to keep wife happy because girls can never look beautiful without some shiny yellow metal on their body. The list is endless and we have bills to pay on top of that at the end of the month.

      Girls have none of these expectations even if she is earning handsomely. It’s a curse to be born a man in the 21st century. One has to wonder why a guy should even marry?

  37. Rashmi says:

    I am happy to read something that relates to my dilemma too. I made the similar choice of staying in rented flat instead going after buying an apartment. It turned out great decision as me and my husband have changed jobs and cities. And an apartment have not held us back from shifting within and beyond cities. Good read !!

    1. Thanks for sharing your case here Rashmi .. If you can highlight a bit more about your life and case , it would enrich the article and discussions. You dont need to tell personal details 🙂

  38. Joel says:

    1) Are girls better home buyers than boys?
    1) The above question leads me to ask “What is meant by better home buyers ?”

    2) Do males face more life issues when it comes to “home ownership”?
    2) Definitely.

    1. The first question means do girls take the decision of buying house in a more sensible way?

      Manish

      1. Kshitij_Peter says:

        @Manish ji is this backed by any data/information?

        Girls have no pressure to create savings and by law the wife is entitled to the house (even if the husband has paid all the money – Read the 1. and 2.

        And if the argument is that girls need to spend a bomb on the wedding(then is there any gender equality really) — for this read 3.

        1. DV Act of 2005.
        2. Section 125 of CrPC.
        3. Dowry Prohibition Act especially sections 3 and 4 (relating to taking and giving dowry)

        I think all those folks(esp males) – who are thinking of creating wealth via this site/services should read this.

        1. Which point you are referring to ?

          I am asking for opinion on others, not putting any conclusion from my end !

          1. Kshitij_Peter says:

            Do girls take the decision of buying house in a more sensible way compared to guys?

            I meant for this section..But now I see there is a disclaimer put there….

            What will happen if the girl is asked whether she owns a flat while a matrimonial proposal???

            Anyways, I would love to see an article on how to safeguard the wealth created(I have mentioned the sections where the wife can easily swindle your money and just go ). 🙂

            1. Thanks for your comment Kshitij_Peter

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