Jagoinvestor

June 28, 2010

Ok , Sir Ji ?

There is a very funny conversation regarding Insurance . Do you get these kind of phone calls ?  Put your comments 🙂


Ten ways to terrorize a telemarketer (contribution from a reader “shib “)

  1. When they ask “How are you today?” Tell them! “I’m so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died.”
  2. If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
  3. Cry out in surprise, “Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?” Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.
  4. If ABC calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, “I don’t have any friends… would you be my friend?”
  5. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
  6. Tell the telemarketer you are on “home arrest” and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.
  7. After the telemarketer gives their product info, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
  8. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say “I guess you don’t want anyone bothering you at home, right?” The telemarketer will agree and you say, “Now you know how I feel!”
  9. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. “Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how’s your momma?”
  10. And first and foremost: Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

How to Attack Back on telemarketers

Pramod Moudgill shares how he attacked back beautifully on telemarketers when he got a call 🙂

  1. I got a call from CitiBank for Credit Card. I asked them to only talk if they are serious about giving me the card because many call but they do not provide the call so I am really frustrated. The lady said sir what is your income. I said 30k a month to which she replied sir no problem we will definitely issue you a card. Are you salaried or … I said I am business man. What kind of business, “Madam main delhi mein auto chalata hoon”. She immediately reacted sir aapka card nahin ban sakta. Now it was my turn and I started, Kyon ji auto mein kya problem hai maam apna auto hai, sari kishten utar chuki hain, maam main bahut honest aadmi hoon, meter se chalta hoon , jab ek 70k ke Bike wale ko card de dete ho to mere paasv to 2lakh ka auto hai. All the time she was trying to speak but I just continued then finally she said sir co. policy nahin hai & again it was me ..”to pehle kyon nahin bataya mere 2 passenger chale gaye, harjana kaun dega meral loss kaun bharega main auto union mein complaint karunga & blah blah blah… & my no. is now free from citibank calls.
  2. I got a call from ICICI bank for personal loan. I asked what is the rate, she said 18% . I asked “madam mere paas 2 lakh hain aap mujh se 15% par le lo. ”
    She said “sir mujhe nahin chahiye” I said please aap holiday jao, LCD kharido & do what ever you want I am giving at only 15% come on.! Then again she said, “Sir maine bataya na mujhe nahin chahiye” Then I said” So who told you that I need one, jo aapne call kiya, aur aap log kya ek baar batane se maan jaate ho. Aap soch lo Iwill call you tomorrow.”

Comments 🙂 ?

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gazala khan
gazala khan
11 years ago

I speak to them as if im intrested in buying.. as i get aware of new products in market.. and then tell them simply that this plan dosnt suite me and my goals and thanks for info.. If they still force which happens rarely.. I tell them call me after 4 to 6 months later as I dnt have enough money to buy after paying EMI’s.. by that time some new product comes and im aware of it… again if I do not like. the same answer…
I think thats how I keep my market knowledge updated…

vaseema
vaseema
13 years ago

Thanks for ur job. well done.

Sunil Date
Sunil Date
13 years ago

I got a phone call asking me if I required a loan. (Old days not now). I replied ” Yes I am intrested in intrest free-non refundable loan. ” Unfortunately the poor thing could’nt understand the joke.

I got another call from a tele caller. She ” Sir your number has been selected by a lottery and you are invited to such & such hotel on ..at .. for a presentation. And a free gift is awaiting you”. I ” If you want to give me a free gift then why don’t you visit my office and give it to me ? I will visit the hotel for the presentation after seeing the gift” .

I got another similar call . She “Sir you number has been selected by a lottery and you are invited to such & such hotel on ..at .. And a free gift is awaiting you.” I “Will you be there ?” She flustered ” No sir. My boss will be there” I ” Then I am not intrested”.

Rupali
Rupali
13 years ago

Hey Manish,
Fresh update from my side just sometime back I recd call from insurance company. This guy has been calling me since last week i told him that i have already taken Mediclaim, So he asked me from which company. Earlier i had given him details so he started telling me the difference but to avoid him i told that my father will only take the decision on this as I am buying for them. So don’t call me, but he had asked for my Father contact and again started that how important your health is and we do care for your health lahaba lallab…. For my goodness @ morning only i read this article and comments too and what 🙂 i applied the same i told him if u do care for our Health will u pls buy it for me? Then too he said okay and changed the subject then again i told him will u pls provide me your residential no me & my Father will let u know my decision. He said “me samza nahi, I said “me to Hindimehi baat kar rahi hu”. He denied to give me his no., then i said why u dont want to get bother @ home? So now u know how i feel. Smaz me nahi aatana tumhe pyarse baat kare to bhi 🙂 And he said its okay Mam and cut the call. Thanks for your 10 ways, I used 8th way. 🙂

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13 years ago

[…] 3. Manish has posted an interesting conversation between an Insurance agent and a patient listener! Check out OK, Sir ji […]

Amol
Amol
13 years ago

Yesterday I also had a similar funny incident. One person from Kotak Mahindra called me and directly started with his plan. “Sir you have to put 2000 PM in SIP and you will get 12 Lakhs in return”. When I interuppted him and said how many years it will take to become 12 Lakh, then he came to some senses, and asked me about my personal details. His qstns were:

1. May I know from which city you are talking to? – I just asked him when you get my number, didnt you know from which city I am?
2. May I know your name please? – This was a completely funny question to me. Usually agents try to begin the conversation with your name. I said if you get the number, do you start dialing and explaining the plan without knowing whom you are talking to? Do you even know who the guy is and what he does?
3. What is your occupation? – Haha.. I was not expecting this question after the answer I gave for second question. Still I answered this question.

Now the funniest part – In which dept are you working? Do you work with finance, govt or what? – I answered this question as finance (I work in HSBC Technology & Services India, so my domain is finance.).

After hearing this answer, they guy said – “Aapka din shubh ho, dhanyawaad”… and hung up the call.. :O

What do you think he thought?? I am still puzzeled and laughing..

Brian
Brian
13 years ago

For a site claiming to be a authoritative source, this was a very cheap article, yes – telemarketing has its issues, but it just some people doing their job. This kind of article has come out in the past, so my take is the author is just trolling in for more page clicks and twitter tags. If yes then good, you earn some good clicks but loose some serious readers.

Ganesh
Ganesh
Reply to  Brian
13 years ago

Cant agree more on this. Telemarketers may be nuisance sometimes, but they are only doing their job. You have all the right to deny and shut them off in a decent way. No one has got a right to insult them. Anyway, they are not doing anything illegal.

Jig
Jig
Reply to  Ganesh
13 years ago

You mean,
You are having your lunch with your boss, and i can call you and start explaining about the financial planning?
BDW who gave you this rights? and how it is legal that can you please explain?

if telemarketers work is harassing the people , then defenately they are doing wrong job. and if seriously they wana do their job then take appointment, ask for interest. if they getting reply No then they simply should put off the phone.

Now even after receiving NO in reply, whoever keep goin on discussion, he/she must be replied as mentioned in this article. and there is no wrong to talk like this.

Any comments?

Surabhi R
Surabhi R
Reply to  Ganesh
13 years ago

@Brian and Ganesh,
Telemarketing is not a crime, but when they do with after several NO’s , or even after you register in DND registry, it definitely a CRIME.

Having sex with a lady is good when she agrees and enjoy, but it’s called as RAPE when u forcefully does!
🙂

caribou
caribou
Reply to  Brian
13 years ago

For me this article is the best and most informative article. I appreciate Manish for his contribution. At the same time I am sure that those telemarketting agents will really hate this article. I hate these nuisance Calls.

S S
S S
13 years ago

My brother was irritated, everyday during his afternoon siesta he was receiving calls from some insurance agent, the lady insisting that he should hear their proposal. Accidently one day I picked up the phone. Conversation went on like this:
Lady: Mam we have an insurance policy (she explained details which i dont remember)
Me: hey that feels good. What I sould do to claim the money?
lady: We can meet tomorrow to discuss details
Me: tomorrow..you people are very fast..ok when tomorrow?
Lady: around 10 am with your husband.
Me: You mean MY..husband?
Lady: yes.
Me: But I dont have any husband. But wait..If its a matter of money I can produce a husband. I can get marry ASAP.
Lady: we’ll be glad to serve you.
Me: BTW whats the amount I am supposed to receive?
Lady: 5 lakhs
Me: you are kidding me ..right na!
Lady: No mam
Me: Of course ..only a numbskull will marry for a pathetic amount of 5 laks.
Your shceme is not attractive enough, if it was 50 crores instead of 5 lakha I would have taken the risk. But you see I dont see any point in risking my whole life for such a garbage offer.
Lady: We are sorry mama, the scheme is open for married ones only
Me: Thanks a lot for telling me. I shall be grateful to you forever.

Nilesh
Nilesh
13 years ago

Good one!
I had similar experience(not about credit card but ULIP product). I had got a new cell number and was surprised where did she got it from ? Since I was new to investment world I was a ideal “Bakra” for any new investment. Initially she convinced me to at least meet her and discuss about the product. After seeing the admin charges I was not really interested in buying ULIP but I was little hesitate to tell “no” immediately so I told her that right now I am not really interested to go with this product but in interested I will let you know. Now from the next day onwards she started playing silly things like sending me good morning message. Or like “Hi, how are you doing today, hope things are fine” type of messages. After 2-3 days when I did not replied her she called me and started talking informal things like “How was your day?” or “hows job is going on”, “Happy weekend” etc. etc.
this continued for almost 4-5 days….finally I told her that I am not interested so please don’t give me a call
Then suddenly next day she surprisingly visited my office and this time she was with some gentleman. They requested a lot to spend at least 20 minutes to discuss about the product. That guy was literally forcing me to buy the product. Any point I make he was defending with his non-sense calculation fundas. He almost ate 40 minutes of mine. Finally I just left the place just by saying “sorry!”

Jig
Jig
Reply to  Nilesh
13 years ago

hahahaha,
They came to see you at your office and you left the place with saying sorry? 🙂 🙂

Strong selling attitude Hahahah

Njoy

Amol
Amol
13 years ago

that last two experiences were really funny…Can’t stop laughing. This article is seriously good a share.

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13 years ago

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JP
JP
13 years ago

Dear Manish, Shib

Ten ways is really good…….esp 9th point
Also idea given by Manish……asking them to meet you and say you don’t need is good.

I would like to give my recent experience with Reliance.
I have a reliance number and from last month, they started 2 things
– 1 SMS daily mentioning about due amount and ends like “if you have paid, please ignore the message”….STUPID system……it shows that their systems are so bad that they don’t know who has paid and who hasn’t paid
– 1 call daily
I get this SMS / call eventhough i pay before due date
Both these start 5 days before due date and continues for 5 days after due date.

For the calls i have started answers like this
– ask for the number thay wanted and say it is “wrong number”. when they say they are calling from reliance, i say i don’t have reliance number and the number called by them is vodafone number……they get confused!!!!!!!

I am waiting for number portability to shift service provider by retaining the number (changing mobile number & informing all friends /updating bank records / all other registrations –is a big problem)

JP
Mumbai

Sachin Goel
Sachin Goel
13 years ago

Good one… 🙂 I think there is a site

you can check this out.

Ajay
Ajay
Reply to  Jagoinvestor
13 years ago

For me the calls have not stopped. however the frequency has reduced. the first thing I ask them is how they got my number and the answer is standard… “its in our database sir…”.
now the trend is for sending out SMS. may be there should be some kind of registry for that too.

Vibhav Nayak
Vibhav Nayak
Reply to  Ajay
13 years ago

Ajay,

Read this part “To discourage the telemarketers who make calls to the numbers registered in Do Not Call List, a provision has been made whereby Rs.500/ – shall be payable by the telemarketer to the service provider for every first unsolicited commercial communication (UCC) and Rs.1000/- shall be payable for subsequent UCC.”…. (contd)

If your telephone number is in DND, then you should pursue this case with your Service Provider. Best of Luck!

Pramod
Pramod
13 years ago

It is really interseting that we are all so fed up by these tele callers but hey just enjoy and only irritate them. There have been some instances with me which I want to share.
1. I got a call from CitiBank for Credit Card. I asked them to only talk if they are serious about giving me the card because many call but they do not provide the call so I am really frustrated. The lady said sir what is your income. I said 30k a month to which she replied sir no problem we will definitely issue you a card. Are you salaried or … I said I am business man. What kind of business, “Madam main delhi mein auto chalata hoon”. She immediately reacted sir aapka card nahin ban sakta. Now it was my turn and I started, Kyon ji auto mein kya problem hai maam apna auto hai, sari kishten utar chuki hain, maam main bahut honest aadmi hoon, meter se chalta hoon , jab ek 70k ke Bike wale ko card de dete ho to mere paasv to 2lakh ka auto hai. All the time she was trying to speak but I just continued then finally she said sir co. policy nahin hai & again it was me ..”to pehle kyon nahin bataya mere 2 passenger chale gaye, harjana kaun dega meral loss kaun bharega main auto union mein complaint karunga & blah blah blah… & my no. is now free from citibank calls.
2. I got a call from ICICI bank for personal loan. I asked what is the rate, she said 18% . I asked “madam mere paas 2 lakh hain aap mujh se 15% par le lo. ”
She said “sir mujhe nahin chahiye” I said please aap holiday jao, LCD kharido & do what ever you want I am giving at only 15% come on.! Then again she said, “Sir maine bataya na mujhe nahin chahiye” Then I said” So who told you that I need one, jo aapne call kiya, aur aap log kya ek baar batane se maan jaate ho. Aap soch lo Iwill call you tomorrow.”

Hemant Beniwal
Hemant Beniwal
Reply to  Pramod
13 years ago

Superb!!

Hila dala!! Agar koi telecaller padhrahi hogi to kal job choddegi.

Hemant Beniwal
Hemant Beniwal
Reply to  Jagoinvestor
13 years ago

😉

Boy telecallers ki waise hi kaun sunta hai.

Vibhav Nayak
Vibhav Nayak
Reply to  Pramod
13 years ago

Great one! But sometimes you tend to sympathize with these guys.. 🙁

Raju
Raju
13 years ago

Please provide me link of Raja’a article on vegetable faming.

Ajay
Ajay
Reply to  Raju
13 years ago

Raju
It is http://rajsmusings.wordpress.com/

You can click on the name of the person who has written the comments and if they have any websites mentioned while leaving the comment you can see that.

Natasha
Natasha
13 years ago

Heya..thanks for the post and great tips..even I also think that hard work is the most important aspect of getting success.

shib4u
shib4u
13 years ago

Ten ways to terrorize a telemarketer…
1. When they ask “How are you today?” Tell them! “I’m so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died.”
2. If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
3. Cry out in surprise, “Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?” Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.
4. If ABC calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, “I don’t have any friends… would you be my friend?”
5. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
6. Tell the telemarketer you are on “home arrest” and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.
7. After the telemarketer gives their product info, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
8. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say “I guess you don’t want anyone bothering you at home, right?” The telemarketer will agree and you say, “Now you know how I feel!”
9. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. “Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how’s your momma?”
10. And first and foremost: Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

shib4u
shib4u
13 years ago

I have my way of dealing with telemarketers, I say that your company is not customer friendly, doesn’t provide good services, and i see a lot of complaints (online). I wanted to buy your product but I am not bcos of those complaints.

Normally, marketing calls have reduced these days, but i get calls from companies I am already dealing with, like HDFC Bank calls up to sell their insurance products, Gold coins, etc… but i let them know about their deficiency in the banking services which i experience, hence not buying insurance or gold from them (although i wanted to) Dont know if it works, but atleast they listen n keep shut.

Manish
Manish
13 years ago

Solid I like d sipirit of agent ……….. This happened wth me also and Caller was not ready to accept that Im not intersted in buying ULIP. I was totally irritated and then told her ” ur voice is so sweet and I’m ready to take ULIP but one condition. If you are ready to pay 50 % of my ULIP premium I will buy ULIP from u . She cut the phone and I never recieved call from her 🙂 🙂

Shivani
Shivani
Reply to  Jagoinvestor
13 years ago

Manish(the author),

This is not a permanent solution or an appropriate one. The sales guys are doing their job and yes, they have to do it to meet their targets. I agree when you say above, the problem is at higher levels. When I receive such calls, I listen to them (to know which product are they talking about), and tell them “Thank you so much” and disconnect the call. Luckily, I have never received the call from same person again ever 🙂

Shivani

Vivek Rastogi
Vivek Rastogi
13 years ago

The problem is with these insurance agent is they want to sell every thing on phone in just 5-10 min., The attitude is like you have to take decision in 10 min. only. there is no time for thinking.

I have write a post in hindi on my blog for insurance conversation.
टेलिकॉलर्स, टेलिवार्ता, ३७ लाख के लिये बीमा और रिलायंस फ़ार्मा फ़ंड का विश्लेषण